Navigating Change: Lessons in Resilience and Self-Discovery
Deciding to move
Have you seen Elyse Meyers’ TikTok where she talks about being born with the “How Hard Could It Be” gene? The one where she says:
“I don’t think there’s anything I couldn’t do at least half-decently.”
I’ve never heard anyone else say this before but it is absolutely my *･ﾟ✧entire personality✧･ﾟ*.
If there is a will there IS a way. And I WILL find it. Sometimes to my detriment.
(I seriously have SO many stories around this concept)
But this one is about my decision to move three states away from my home to a state where I knew no one and had never even been to before.
For context, prior to December 2022, I had never lived farther than an hour away from my birthplace in Missouri.
My whole life and everything I had ever known was within an hour of that town. And I kind of hated knowing that.
So early in 2022, after COVID and a couple of other life changes, I decided it was time to leave and I set my sights on Michigan.
The research stage and the first obstacle
I did actually start this whole thing responsibly (yes that is foreshadowing) by researching housing costs and average salaries from job postings on indeed.
I got the spreadsheets out and started calculating how much I needed to save over the next year in order to not only move, but put a down payment on a house. (Something I’d never done before)
While I was making pretty good money at my job at the time, I would definitely need to change my spending habits and maybe get a part-time job as well.
But before I could do any of that, life threw its first curveball at me.
My car broke down.
I could write another whole post about my car drama since COVID but this particular breakdown was the hardest part. It wasn’t worth fixing.
In early 2022 there were not many cars available and the ones that were available were listed at a much higher price than normal. Additionally, since I hadn’t started saving yet, I couldn’t afford a down payment and I still owed on the car that broke down to boot.
I was facing quite a few obstacles.
Bold Determination
I will say, despite the situation looking pretty dim, I was lucky in that I lived in a city that was pretty sidewalk and bike-lane friendly, and my commute was only about 4 miles.
Also since I worked in a clinical setting, my job had a shower!
I alternated between walking and biking to work. Anywhere from a 30 minute to 1 hour commute.
While 4 miles may not sound bad, this was in the middle of summer in Missouri with temps often in the 100s and humidity close to the same, a huge hill both ways (yea I know who I sound like), and I was NOT in shape at all.
So as soon as I was able to buy a new car–about a month later–I did.
I knew I got a bad deal and it was a terrible time to buy a car, but I felt like it was the best decision at the time.
Making Adjustments And Getting Serious
So now we were in July, I hadn’t saved any money yet, and I had a car payment of $400 more a month.
I decided it was time to get serious and not only look at potential jobs in Michigan but to look for a second, part-time job in Missouri.
While I was only looking for one extra job I ended up with a total of THREE jobs because I don’t know how to say no.
This totaled about 60-70 hours a week I was working but I knew it was only temporary and it was getting me closer to my dream of moving! Or at least, it should have been.
More Hurdles, This Time Self-Imposed
One thing to know about me is that I am terribly impulsive.
I think it’s the undiagnosed, untreated ADHD but I digress.
With a sudden increase in my income, it didn’t take long for me to decide now was the perfect time for new tattoos!
My brain chooses instant gratification over delayed every chance it gets and I have to admit, I’m not great at telling myself no. This was a generally recurring issue throughout this time.
So while I was working double time and saving money, I certainly could’ve gotten myself to a much better place by December when I had decided I would move.
However, It was hard to see the move as REAL just yet. I’m no stranger to these grandiose ideas that often fizzle out before they come to fruition. So it was tough to fully commit and focus for those first several months.
But then something changed.
Pure Confidence And The Tentative Job Offer
I worked as a veterinary receptionist at the time so I started out applying to similar jobs in October. However, while I had 3 years of experience in the role, the only thing that seemed to matter was my location.
I intensely underestimated how hard it would be to get a job in another state before living there. But I couldn’t move without a reliable source of income. And that paradox became a recurring theme for the next 6 months.
Eventually, I decided to widen the net to any job that I was qualified for that still paid a livable wage.
After about 30 applications, in late November, I received my first tentative job offer. I accepted without hesitation.
Interestingly enough, not only was it not in my current field, it wasn’t anything I had ever done before: Sales.
I was again however brought back to that Elyse Meyers quote. I had full confidence in my ability to acquire the job and do it well.
Crunch Time
You may have noticed the job offer I received was tentative. I had the job, so long as I could pass 4 prelicensing and 2 state licensing exams.
You may also remember I had 3 jobs at this time. I forgot to mention I also own a candlemaking business and was just starting to come out of my busiest time of year.
Yes, I can be a little overambitious at times but sometimes my unwavering hyperfocus works in my favor!
Every moment I wasn’t at work, and even sometimes while I WAS, I was studying. It was a challenging balancing act, but I made it work.
I also took this time to put in my resignation notice at all 3 jobs and let me just say that was the scariest part of the whole process!
It was real now!
The Final Adjustment
As I pressed on with my studies and worked out the logistics of my move, I did have to make one final adjustment.
With all of the other challenges piled high on my plate, and due to my poor spending habits, I decided it was not the time to buy a house.
My mom had tried to tell me this when I told her about my plans, but with my usual steadfast stubbornness, I refused to listen.
I ultimately did listen though and decided to rent instead. While staying in an Airbnb, and after starting my new job, I found a house to rent here in Michigan.
The rollercoaster has continued but I am ultimately happy as a clam here and am so glad I did not give up despite all of the hurdles life (and I) threw my way.
Lessons learned
It took me a long time to realize I did actually learn a thing or two from this chaotic period of life. It took writing this post actually, and I’ve been here for 8 months now, but I did ultimately learn that:
I get in my own way a lot, particularly when it comes to money.
While this may seem obvious to anyone on the outside it was not as clear to me.
My tendency to let short-term desires overshadow long-term stability was something I had to come face to face with in the last year.
While I’d love to say that this is no longer a problem for me, I want to be candid with you. I am absolutely still learning to balance spontaneity with responsible planning, but acknowledging the problem is the first step!
I let my emotions get in the way of making logical decisions.
There were many points in this journey where I made illogical decisions. Some were guided by my stubborn assertion that I always know what’s best for me and some were guided by the happiness and excitement of immediate reward.
I am consciously learning now to take a moment and evaluate the tug-of-war between my emotions and my logic before making decisions. However, it’s much easier said than done.
I really CAN do just about anything I put my mind to.
Despite these setbacks though, I still achieved my overall goal, and that has shown me that I really CAN do just about anything I put my mind to.
I don’t know yet if this is an overall good or bad reinforcement but it has gotten me through the continuing barrage of hurdles I’ve faced recently so I think it’s worth noting!
I have SO much power in determining the outcome of my life!
While there will always be obstacles in my way, a lot of which I can’t control, I ultimately decide how to deal with those obstacles and what the outcome will be.
This may again seem like an obvious matter, but when you face obstacle after obstacle, it’s easy to think you are just not meant to have what you want no matter how hard you try.
Conclusion
Overall, while this was among the most difficult transitions I’ve ever experienced, I learned so much about myself and how I face life’s challenges.
I wholeheartedly believe that we are not given dreams we are not meant to achieve and I hope my story can help inspire you to follow the dream you’ve been holding back on.
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And if you liked this post, let me know in the comments if you’d like to read more stories like these. I have a ton!
